Unexpected pressures are real…TAKE YOUR DAY BACK!

2 months to go!
How to survive wedding planning and come out like yourself!

Apparently (almost) every little girl dreams of their wedding day, and If you haven’t been dreaming about it your whole life (because maybe you’ve been dreaming about other aspirations – like killing it in your career or other cool things you want to do with your life) then the media, and now social media sites will make you dream about it – “for better or for worse”.

Now, don’t get me wrong wedding planning is a lot of fun, but it is also a lot of stress.  This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of your life and your friends and family will definitely come through for you when it matters, well the important people anyway (that is a whole other story)  – but the criticism (and self criticism) along the way can be really daunting.

We just had my bridal shower this past weekend, and it was one of the best days ever!!!!  The love I felt from friends and family was so beautiful and overwhelming and I am so grateful!!!! I was showered with so many gifts, in the form of heart felt cards, hugs, kisses, spending time with my friends and family as well as things for our home and new life together. It was really so special and magical and I appreciate every second of it! It was such an incredible thing to feel how loved I am and how many people are so happy for Jordan and I as a couple getting married!

However, we are 2 months out to the wedding now and let me tell you, the pressures of looking your best are real.

I am being marketed to left and right, every half hour I get another email about having the perfect skin, hair, waistline, nails, dress, outfits, shoes, tan, décor, etc.  the list goes on and on.

Now I am definitely a glitz and glam kind of girl, I love taking selfies to show off my outfit and I love the instagram filters just like the next girl, but let me tell you – getting married, it’s thrown at you like a ton of bricks that you need to look like perfection.

PERFECTION is not REAL PEOPLE. YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE!!!!

I kind of have to vent and be honest, I can’t take it any more.  I have been officially brainwashed into obsessing about perfection and it’s not really healthy.  Of course we all want to look our best but I have been letting it get the best of me, criticizing every detail of how I look from my weight, my skin, my hair etc.  On a normal occasion I would be like, I look fine, I look great even.  Thinking about my wedding, it’s kind of a different story.

Not that I am a celebrity by any means, but on your wedding day with the guests, the photos, the videos and you being the center of attention, you as the bride are kind of the celebrity of the day.  If you had all of those eyes on you and a million photos to follow, you would feel pressure to look perfect too!

On top of that, people’s opinions have me criticizing every single move I make from the invite list, invitations, place cards, dress, décor and just about every other thing that I want to do. When did the wedding become something other than about the Bride and Groom? When did the wedding become about what everyone else wants and making everyone else happy but me?

It’s pretty daunting.

Weddings are supposed to be about celebrating the marriage and the life you are getting ready to have with the person you love.

Of course there is nothing wrong with the essentials, getting your hair, makeup and nails done for the big day, proper grooming, taking extra good care of your skin, normal dieting and working out etc.

But all in all, it’s not healthy to think you need to look like one of the“Real Housewives of your Wedding”

I think that as women, we have to deal with it both ways especially in this day and age, and especially that I just turned the big 3-0. We are bombarded with extraordinary women who are supposedly all natural but are completely photoshopped or physically altered. It’s a lot of pressure to keep up!

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.  On one side we are judged for “letting ourselves go”, gaining extra weight, looking tired, not put together, getting wrinkles, getting older – BUT on the other side we are judged for being vain, full of ourselves, looking over-done, having had work, being self absorbed, looking fake, and just about any other judgment you could throw at a beautiful woman etc.

Trying to attain a level of beauty put forth by our society is really hard and damn near impossible unless you are willing to shell out big bucks and be nip tucked to perfection or have an unhealthy relationship to food.  If getting work done is your thing, I am all for it if it will make you feel better about yourself, but do it for YOU, not for other people.

For those of you who are naturally beautiful and genetically gifted, it is definitely a fortuitous circumstance but you have to keep it up.  And still bear the brunt of getting judged for people ASSUMING you have had something done, or are fake even if you haven’t!

What is with this world. It’s crazy and overwhelming and really damaging to one’s self esteem.

I think as women we need to take our power back and embrace who we are, flaws and all.

I think the best part of all of this, is when my fiancé realized I was getting so caught up and going overboard he told me that fell in love with me just the way I am and wants me to get old and wrinkled, and will love me then too. I think that’s really what it’s all about. Realizing that your future husband loves you and that you are PERFECT to him RIGHT NOW (and forever).

I think all us brides just need a reality check and to realize that we need to stay true to ourselves, do what WE want with our wedding, dress how we want, act how we want and look how it feels good to us.

It’s time to take our DAY back.

If you are on this path, email me and we can talk. It’s so helpful to have someone else to talk to.

Women, support each other and know you are beautiful inside and out, no matter what.

That is all (for now)! Hope that inspires you to live the life you want to lead!
xoxo
Emily

 

Follow me on Instagram @EmilyBrickel